February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness month.
Dating violence (or relationship abuse) is a pattern of over-controlling behavior that someone uses against a girlfriend or boyfriend. Dating violence can take many forms, including mental/emotional abuse, physical abuse, and sexual abuse. It can occur in both casual dating situations and serious, long-tem relationships.
Dating abuse can have serious consequences! The effects range from missing a few classes to attempting suicide. Abuse also affects future relationships. All consequences make compelling reasons to prevent abuse before it starts, or to speak out against it.
This cause strikes a cord with us in the wireless industry because much of teen dating violence happens via tech devices and is referred to as electronic victimization. This can take on a several forms.
- The abusive partner calls or texts multiple times a day in order to control the victim.
- The abusive partner checks the victim's phone or facebook page to see who he/she is communicating with via calls, posts or texts.
- The abuser may find in checking the victim's phone or computer that he/she is looking into gaining more information about or ways to report abuse.
- The abuser makes it an everyday occurrence to digitally stalk without the victim's knowledge.
To learn more about electronic victimization click here. http://www.athinline.org/facts
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Connecticut Coalition Against Domestic Violence (CCADV) created a smartphone app called TD411 to bring awareness about teen dating violence and electronic victimization. It is available on iTunes and the Android Market Place under "td411". The website that goes along with the App can be found at http://www.td411.org and you can also download the smartphone app from there as well.
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The following is a page from the TD411.org website. It has a very casual, school-like look and feel.
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How is teen dating violence different from adult domestic violence?
There are several things that make teenage dating violence different from adult domestic violence. Usually, when a teen is abused, he/she becomes isolated from their peers because of the controlling behavior of the abusive partner.
The isolation teens face in abusive dating situations often makes it hard to:
- develop new and mature relationships with peers of both sexes
- feel emotionally independent
- develop personal values and beliefs
- stay focused on school and get good grades.
Teen dating violence can also cause problems in the long run such as:
-Depression
-Suicide attempts
-Eating disorders
-Drug and alcohol abuse
-Medical problems
-Inability to succeed in school or at work later in life
Are you a victim of dating violence?
Answer the questions below. If you answer yes to two or more of them, you are probably in an abusive relationship, or your relationship is likely to become abusive. Abuse isn't just hitting. It's yelling, threatening, name-calling, saying things like, "I'll kill myself if you leave me," obsessive phone calling, and extreme possessiveness.
Are you going out with someone who ...
- is jealous and possessive, won't let you have friends, checks up on you, won't accept breaking up?
- tries to control you by being bossy, giving orders, making all the decisions, not taking your opinions seriously?
- puts you down in front of friends, tells you that you would be nothing without him/her?
- scares you?
- makes you worry about his/her reactions to things you say or do?
- threatens you?
- uses or owns guns or other weapons?
- is violent?
- has a history of fighting, loses temper quickly, brags about mistreating others?
- grabs, pushes, shoves, or hits you?
- pressures you for sex or is forceful or scary about sex?
- gets too serious about the relationship too fast?
- abuses alcohol or other drugs and pressures you to take them?
- has a history of failed relationships and blames the other person for all the problems?
- makes your family and friends uneasy and concerned for your safety?
- makes you feel like you need to apologize to yourself or others for your boy/girlfriend's behavior when he/she treats you badly?
If you need help call 888-774-2900 or go to loveisrespect.org.
Adapted from: "In Love and in Danger: A Teen's Guide to Breaking Free of Abusive Relationships," (c) 1998 by Barrie Levy.